Yet another ‘love+relationship’ post

Don’t these bloggers ever get bored of the topic!!

courtesy

See, I am not a relationship pro. No one can be. Being in a relationship and learning from it, is a journey, not a destination. But I am going to share a single funda of relationships based on my personal experience. Unlike my previous posts I will stop beating around the bushes (no pun intended :P) and jump on the subject (no pun intended either :D).

Honeymoon periods (I said no pun intended…dontcha gettit?) come with an expiry date and if you can still keep it fresh you have survived the hardest test of your relationship syllabus.

Phase I:

The mirage

Each and every relationship starts with a very thrilling and exciting phase. You find the other person very attractive. Time spent with him/her seems too short. Flattery is your buzzword (with a slight amount of teasing which brings out the naughtiness quotient) and you are in sheer amazement how yours and his/hers choices match exactly. You start believing that this is divine intervention in your life and he/she is ‘The One’. Each and every word, laugh, joke, movie, popcorn and random tangible objects seem so perfectly made for both of you. You act like a 6 months old kid who runs after the shiny object and tries to chew everything that can fit in the tiny mouth. Here you learn from each and every couple around and swear to God a million times, “We are surely never gonna do that”. Here the concept of nicknames is introduced (if you are really into it).

Phase II:

The Oasis

Now you decide that you need to grow up. And you try to grow up (but don’t realise that you are going to fail miserably anyway). Here your relationship becomes a bit romantic and mushy, which is good! You tease less and touch more (emotionally and physically). You start trusting and everything seems perfect. You are the ossumest couple and all other couples are not. If other couples fight, you laugh at them and if they don’t, you label them as ‘boring’. You like holding hands and squeezing them in public to show the extra bit of attention and care (like extra cheese on the top of a pizza). You like the smell of his/her hair/skin. Till now you have stopped looking/gawking at other random dude/chick (since you have found the water). If you have survived phase II then believe me you can be a very very good boyfriend/girlfriend. But remember you have still not graduated to become the ‘only one’ in life. Even if the other person tells you that you are a graduate now don’t ever ever believe him/her, because if you do believe then you will never graduate.

Phase III:

The Desert

Now this is an advance phase of relationship. Here you and your sonu/jaanu/sweetu/golu/or any random nickname you call him/her will be tested and tried to examine your potential to go through the hardships of the journey called ‘Life’. Here a small glimpse of reality is shown to you. In this phase you come to see a small preview of the real you and your partner, completely devoid of the coating of chivalry and ‘desperately-trying-to-impress-you’ part. You fight over petty issues. If you can handle petty issues you will be able to handle real ones later. You agree to disagree. Jealousy and possessiveness creep in, typically confined in this phase only. Because In phase I and II you were too young and busy to experience jealousy and possessiveness, and in later phase you will be too grown up. This is adolescent phase of relationship and is the most vulnerable. You think that you have ‘seen-it-all’ and question ‘is there something new?’

Sometimes it seems real boring but the sense of satisfaction that at least you have someone makes you stick (which can be quite dangerous sometimes). Since this phase is life turner, you will always emerge as a winner (even if you don’t pass the test).

If you pass phase III, congratulations you have graduated and have become member of an elite club called ‘committed’ (and boring).

If you have failed phase III, kudos to you, welcome to the elite club called ‘hurt and hungry’ or ‘single and sexy’ or whatever appeals.

Remember that Phase I, II and III are collectively called the ‘Honeymoon’ or ‘Delusional’ phase of a relationship. The real life begins after that and it gets tougher. But you have been trained to survive and if God (and you partner) wants, you will survive and emerge as a winner.

Note that the word ‘LOVE’ doesn’t even appear a single time in any of the phases because the real ‘LOVE’ starts after you graduate.

P.S. The symptoms in different phases may vary from couple to couple, orientation to orientation, but the basic classification of stages and their predicted results are more or less accurate. Isn’t it?