Writing this post from 37000 ft over sea level, somewhere over Dilli and the air hostesses are not that good 😦 .
Yes I am returning from Delhi after a short trip for some personal work. No no, its not that personal that I can’t share with you all people but some things are better kept secret. I will spill the beans as soon as everything goes well (actually I am pretty orthodox and superstitious about the good things that may happen in my life, so till then zipped). Then why the hell I am writing this post? I am writing this post to give you all a glimpse of Dilli through my eyes and my perception as a first time visitor of the national capital.
First thing first, I was just blown away by Delhi Metro. Hailing from a city, Kolkata, which boasts to have the first underground metro in the country and where metro is just another part of Bengali life, I was really impressed by the ‘Dilli-way’ of putting it. All AC rails run real fast and their frequency is really commendable. The area they cover and the infrastructure they have utilised to handle the not only Delhi crowd but from all over the NCR region. Well NCR (National Capital Region) actually consists of Faridabad, Noida, Ghaziabad and Gurgaon. As it was a very short trip I did not get ample time to exhaustively ‘test run’ other modes of transport available (apart from the autowallahs which as usual as it can be). I also used the Reliance Airport Expressway and it was also very good (with free WiFi and faster ride).
I actually roamed in outskirts of Delhi and was not able to test/taste the real Dilli. Delhi is a fast city unlike Kolkata (with its lazy glamour and dreamy touch). It is meant for smart and conscious people. People in Delhi are real conscious, be it about their figure, looks or about what they speak. I stayed in Vaishali which is Ghaziabad area and travelled all the way to Dwarka. The metro rides are long (in Kolkata it is short or rather bursty) and interesting. The first time I boarded on the metro (was actually was forced to board due to the immense pressure of the crowd pressing behind me), I saw two people complaining that their wallets have been stolen. One guy was not at all shocked. He mentioned it casually to his fellow passengers that while boarding the metro somebody stole it (as if it can happen to anybody in an AC metro). The other guy was astonished that how somebody can steal his wallet when he has kept it in his front pocket of his jeans. But later very easily he gave in to the fact that in Delhi Metro pick pocket is a way of life. So I took my wallet from my back pocket (the worst place to keep your wallet in Delhi metro especially in crowded places) and kept it in my hand (safest according to me). And in Delhi I saw a lot of girls. To be exact ‘a lot’, but later to that story.
If you consider the cost of living, staying or roaming in Delhi then it is pretty costly. Well I do admit that coming from Kolkata, the cheapest metro city (where metro tickets cost only Rs. 4,6,8), any other city will always seem costly to me. I stayed in a region which comes under NCR and that place the whole time I was there I experienced a power cut of continuous 7 hours. Now I do admit that it is outskirts of Delhi and comparing it with Kolkata (we have rare power cuts) is not fair but continuous 7 hours is too much for me. The roads are good and the high rising building really looked modern and beautiful.
Now talking about beauty I have to and have to talk about ‘Dilli-ki-kudiyan’. Delhi girls are sexy. Period. Not that they are tremendously good looking, but they are well maintained and do care about themselves a lot. Most of the girls come out on the street so crisply dressed that you can’t help yourself noticing them. It is like having a glimpse or two of the smartly dressed airhostess with average looks. It is evident that each and every girl (and even boys) do take a good care of themselves and really value how they ‘look’. Portrayal of ‘you’ is specifically concentrated on you external appearance. BTW I just crossed the city Varanasi (35k ft or approx. 10.7 KM above sea level). I admit (shamelessly) that even the married ones are so well groomed and have taken care of themselves so well that it made my jaws drop. If I do compare girls from Delhi with the girls of Kolkata then I must say that Kolkata girls have beauty but don’t know how to take care of it and definitely don’t know marketing and Delhi girls may have lesser substance (or should say differently beautiful) but they do know marketing and do have a dressing sense.
But I got to know that although Delhi may seem very modern in its appearance, the NCR region is plagued by crime. Shooting a person is just a matter of fact. The people in Delhi have no driving/traffic sense. People laugh at those who stop at traffic red signal. There is a news of rape almost every day in NCR region and eve teasing is so normal that I happened to see it thrice on a single day (and was not able to anything about it). My friend from Delhi once told me-People in Delhi don’t fear anybody because they have come to Delhi just to earn money and nothing else. Sorry Delhi, I was unable to feel the warmth, may be because I stayed for a very short time, but I didn’t expect such classy deeds from seemingly classy people.
One thing I really liked in Delhi are the road side food stalls which really entertained my taste buds. Northern Indian foods are heaven there. Tunday-Kebab and Paratha was ossum. My palate had a wholesome treat with the delicacies offered by Delhi. I didn’t taste Biryani or sweets of Delhi as their review from my friends were not good. That’s it.
My flight is about to land. Indigo always makes me reach destination before time. Just one problem, these airhostesses have put a strong fruity deo on them. It is yucky.
Category Archives: sinbycosmoy
Writing this post from 37000 ft over sea level, somewhere over Dilli and the air hostesses are not that good 😦 .
How beautiful am I? – You ask.
You ask me how beautiful you are?
I will tell you how beautiful you are.
You have the most beautiful soul on earth.
You are so beautiful that
Your beauty inflicts pain.
It really aches to see someone so beautiful like you.
Sometimes I feel so empty because of your beauty.
I am not an atheist.
But whoever created, conceptualised you
That craftsman and her creativity need Salute
The satisfaction and excitement of mystery
And discovering the new you every moment
Is never satiated
Amazing it is to find someone
With lethal grace
With crystal clear eyes
With sunshine smile
With vibrant air
With never ending legs
And country roads arms
Which make your travel feel nostalgic
You pose and laugh and play with innocence
While making silly faces
And you ask – But, How beautiful am I?
- 10 Stars Who’ve Said That Beauty Comes From Within (bellasugar.com)
Wooing girls has always been considered as an art. It needs passion, endurance, inborn capabilities and lots and lots of practice. I thought to myself, why not analyse this art and prepare a synopsis for a cookbook. I am an expert (certification and 97.5 patents pending with the cupid).
After lots of analysis, closed room discussions with myself and my beer bottle (and belly) and incessant staring at the stars I have reached to a revealing conclusion. The conclusion is whether a guy is interested or not interested in a girl he will behave to impress a girl, without fail. He will behave according to the strategy he has created from his teens (or way before), the strategy (may or may not have been successful) which he thinks fits him the best and which will (in his own small world) make a girl go crazy (and wet). So I have decided to categorise guys and look for the girl which will suit you the best. For starters I do believe that ‘opposites attract’. People always try to look person who has all the qualities they have only dreamt about in themselves. So here is a small excerpt. The cookbook is still cooking (baking to be exact).
The decent devils
These guys are like coconut or melons. Tough from outside and sissy soft from inside. He will always act rowdy in front of others and will talk softly to each and every girl he meets. The girl community will form and opinion that you are very decent and you will always try to break their belief. This has a dual advantage. You can do whatever you want and still be considered as a ‘good’ guy.
If you do feel that you are one of these kind then watch a lot of movies based on split personality (like Fight Club, Spider Man or Secret Window). These movies will enrich you and portray you as a pseudo-intellectual loser stud. And believe me pseudo-intellectualism is a huge head-turner for most of the women. The girl which will suit you is typical ‘ghar-ki-bahu/behenji’ types. These girls will be super committed and will also allow you to act rowdy. You can actually make fun of them in front of everybody and they will not mind. Isn’t that a cool way to satisfy tour piggish little ego?
The BiKing Boys
Ah..you have a spelndor,passion,FZ,fazer,apache,pulsar then you are ready for a go. Girls love bikes. At least, most of them. They love the fluttering of their hair sitting on the pinion while the chauffer guy escorts them to a mall. These guys pretend that they don’t care about mileage and can drive bhery bhery fast. And they can even drive a bike keeping their both hands in air (old school?).
If you do fall in this category then spend minimal on yourself, because the girls whom you are going to patofy are very expensive (financially and emotionally). But there are certain tricks. You kind of girls love movies and ice-cream. So in that case you have to spare pend only Fridays with them. Rest of the week they are busy gossiping.
The farting flirts
These are the guys who think farting in front of girl is damn cute. Their fart is always those sweet and dangerous. They have a small *beeep* sound or a sweet humming sound which comes out momentarily from their rear window.
If you fall in this category you should and would look for a girl who smokes or the one who loves to smell. One who smokes will never complain because her olfactory glands have lost their sensitivity to smell (hope their other glands are working). The one who loves to smell will go crazy about you as she not only loves you but you as a complete person with all the intangible (and abstract) qualities you have. If you really want to keep (or woo) this girl eat a lot of cabbage and radish and cauliflower. This kind of diet will keep your relationship in balance.
The handsome hunk
These kinds spend hours in gym and more hours shaving their armpits. They smell good and taste even better (no personal experience cited). They have an obsession for sunglasses. They have feeling that they can woo every girl and believe me, at the end of the day, they can.
So, you fall in this category. Feeling lucky about your genes and mirror eh? If you do belong here then keep a comb and mirror (the ones sold in local trains) always with yourself, you may not get a washroom to look good everywhere. You should always look for a girl with super-model looks. You don’t have to care about the words like ‘cultured’ and ‘classy’ because your girl will never bother about them. She will be too proud of herself and too engrossed in her shallowness and facial (no pun intended). And don’t forget to worship Hrithik. When your girl screams ‘OOHH MY GAWD’ in the bed, she is actually referring to Hrithik.
The Mama’s boy
These kinds of guys take permission from home to go to pee. They use local transport to travel and never have driven a bike because it is too dangerous (as his mom says).Specifically suited for arranged marriages, these guys love their family and cheating does not appear in their dictionary. Their body structure can range from too lean to guys with dudeterus.
If you fall in this group and brave enough to accept it then ‘salute’. You should look out for an independent girl who loves freedom. The girl should have a Royal Enfield so that you can capture her pinion. Remember Deepika in ‘Karthik calling Karthik’? And she should never ever wear a saree. She should teach you to drink whiskey and act as your second mom. She should take you out for a stroll every day in the evening for some fresh air.
The frustrated frat
These kind of guys are super shy and super duper frustrated losers. They always hang in groups and can be spotted in different malls passionately pursuing their hobby ie. Girl watching. They may even fall in love and will wait for a glimpse of the girl of their dreams but will never ever have the guts to talk.
So if you are this kind of loser then it is probable that you masturbate a lot (and I can’t define lot). And you are so egoistic that you are actually waiting for a girl who would come up to you and fall on your feet. You, my friend need medication or a bold girl. You are looking for a girl who (and her commitment) will be your asset to flaunt. Best of Luck with that.
The ‘I don’t care ones’
These guys are also seen in bunch and they feel like pride of lions. They think show that they don’t care a shit about girls (but are not considered gay) but secretly try to get a girls attention. Actually they are the hungriest kind and their every move is targeted to woo girls.
If, my friend, you are here then believe me you just need a goddamn girl. You are not racist and don’t believe in discrimination of opposite sex based on caste, colour, creed, whims and size. The day a girl will give you the tiniest amount of ‘patta’, you will run to the nearest temple to pay homage to God.
The Best Friends
These guys are a more like girls (not gay). They always hang around with bunch of girls and are best friends with many of them. They cry and share feelings. They are very well behaved and open minded (at least it seems so).
If you are one of these, then don’t worry. You will get a girl. You will always be the backup plan of you best friends. So as soon as your friend goes through a breakup jump along and if you are lucky then she may even consider you. And if you are the reason of their breakup then you are screwed, because even if she breaks up with that guy you will always carry the tag of best friend throughout your life.
The list is not exhaustive and the categorisation above can be elaborated and bent in many ways.
I know that most of the guys will deny that they fall in any of the category above but the girls will know that some way or the other they do resemble, may be the tiniest amount.
Aah a day to celebrate love. Cliched. I would rather masturbate and go to sleep.
V day has never been a day of importance to me. It has always been a day of confusion. I still remember that day when I took the ‘Red’ rose, stealing it from my dad’s garden, with me in my school bag and brought it back on my way back home. I am still confused as why I took the flower to school. Is it because I was hoping for a girl who would come up to me and say, “Hey, can I have your flower? You can take my candy instead.” Or was I apprehensive of the fact that people will laugh at me if I don’t take a flower to school on the Vday. I was in class five then.
I got my first kiss on V day. I remember it because it was my first kiss. I realised it later that I celebrated love. It was fast, sensuous and moist. And confusing because it was new.
This year people asked (I apologise for their stupidity), what am I doing on the ‘day’. I gave them a completely stupid and confused look (exhibiting honestly the feeling inside me) and said, “I donno.” I lied. I do know what I will do tomorrow. I will wake up. I will brush and shit (I wish tomorrow it is heart-shaped). I will go to office and (try to) solve bugs. Then I will fall in love with every next girl I will see in office. Then I will return home and eat and sleep. The funny thing is, many of us who are very close to real life will have more or less the same day as mine.
Don’t do that.
Love yourself, your vicinity.
Love air and love aroma.
Not only tomorrow but everyday.
Do something before you file a missing report of your balls.
I celebrated Vday by writing a small post (tomorrow office).
What are you waiting for?
Let me tell you a small story.
This is the story of boy. And the boy is in Kolkata. Kolkata International Book Fair was in the city. He loved to read. He loved to smell. Smell the books.
So he went to the Book Fair. He bought few and smelled few. And he indulged himself in some gastronomic pleasure. It is traditional in Kolkata to munch something while you shop. And he did the same. While returning from ‘Milan Mela’ ground, he and his friends decided to hop into Arsalan for some ‘Biriyani’. Arsalan was full, so they headed to Aliah near ‘Dhormotolla’ and had ‘Biriyani’ and ‘Kebabs’ and ‘Phirni’. He loved calling himself a foodie and was proud of his taste buds. While returning home he took a bus. And the realisation happened there.
The bus was moving at a very slow pace, very typical to the average speed of Kolkata city buses, that too on a holiday. He got himself a window seat, rested his tired but happy body, and started enjoying the ride. He started watching the scenery outside. He felt as if the the city is trying to share her joy and warmth with him by rubbing her nose with his. He rubbed back and smiled. While moving his head slightly out of the window and enjoying the cool breeze, he thought he looked like a dog who is enjoying his flowing hair, to people on the roads.
As soon as the bus stopped near Rabindra Sadan, a bunch of people got into the bus, and his tranquillity was broken by the sudden hustle inside the bus. The conductor of the bus, in a very harsh voice asked everyone to move towards the end of the bus and make space for other passengers.
He was sitting in the front seat and the space in front of him got occupied by a group which he considered to be a part of the lower strata of society. He tried not to look at them as it would hamper his dreamy world, he thought, but a kid from the group, due to the crowd in the bus, was forced to sit in his lap. Her mother looked at him and smiled. He noticed that the group was big. There were 6 kids, a man and a woman, probably the parents, most of them wearing torn but clean clothes. The smallest one was in the lap of his mother, who was struggling to gain balance in the suffocating crowd of the moving bus. Then the next, around 4-5 years old, got hold of the window and was enjoying the scenery outside with his elder sister, the one forced to sit in the lap. The father was instructing everyone to stick together, otherwise they may get lost. The mother was stopping her kids from keeping their body parts outside the bus. It seemed that this as their first day outside, at least for the mother and few of her kids. They looked happy and amazed.
He hated the scene. He hated the way the kids were enjoying the scenery outside. He thought the window and the scenery as seen from it, belongs to him, and cannot be shared with those lower status kids. They talked, laughed and giggled in ‘bhojpuri’. When the conductor asked for ticket from them, the father said that they don’t have money. The conductor mumbled a few expletives to them and said, ‘Why do you people get on the bus when you don’t have money. Why do you come to Kolkata?’
He got amazed when the expletives uttered by the conductor did not steal the happiness from their faces, and when the conductor did not force them to get down from the bus. There was a boy around 14 years old with them. He seemed to be the eldest one and posed as ‘know-it-all’ in front of his other siblings. He explained the brands of cars moving on the road and warned everybody to keep their heads inside the bus. As soon as the bus passed the ‘Victoria memorial’, there was a sudden wave of excitement on the kids’ face. The y all looked at the memorial which was well lit at that moment of time with the moon just visible in the sky. The kid who got hold to the window pane, pulled the fringe of his mother’s sari with his small hands and said, ‘Ma, Look Victoria.’ And the mother who was busy balancing the baby and saving her other kids, leant a bit, and started looking at the ‘Victoria memorial’ with joy, amusement, astonishment and pain in her face.
And, at that specific moment felt ashamed. He realised that the window and the city Kolkata did not belong to him. It is to be shared and enjoyed. He felt that all mothers are same. Same as the city. They are busy protecting their kids and at the same time want to feel the happiness on their kids face. They feel secure with their husbands and are mesmerised by bright lights and monumental structures. The mother bent further and started enjoying the view outside with her kids. The girl sitting in his lap, for a moment, tried to push her hands outside the window and feel the air. He took her hand and forced it inside and said, ‘Don’t do that, it is dangerous’, with an authority like a big brother. He was happy again.
And that’s exactly why.
That’s why I love Kolkata. I love the smell in the air, the warmth in the sunlight. I love the Rabindra Sangeet that is played at the traffic signals. I know people will get pissed at the music during summers in a crowded bus stuck in traffic jam, but they will nevertheless love it. I love the metro trains, the underground subway, park street rolls, biriyani. I love underground, Someplace Else. I love City Center, South city. I love Durga pujo and Saraswati Pujo. I love Yellow taxi and green autos. I love shuttles and ‘dada ektu adjust korun na’. I love the way this city accepts. The way it has place for every person. It takes care of everyone. People from different city, state, country are happy here. I love Academy and Nandan. I love Oh! Calcutta and New market and Shree Ram Arcade. I love the crowd of Goriahat and silence of Rajarhat Highway. I love Metro, Jaya, Adlabs and Inox. I love radio Mirchi, miniskirts and ‘lal-paar-sada-saari’. I love when on a weekend some Bengalis are taking part in Kolkata marathon while some are spending it as a weekend trip at Mondarmoni, while some are reading ‘Anadabazaar Patrika’ with a cup of tea and ‘maarie’ biscuit enjoying the first rays of sunlight. I love St. Paul’s Cathedral, the morning walk in Victoria Memorial Park. I love the KC Paul as well as KC Dass. I love Haldiram’s and I love the parks filled with couples exhibiting love in parking places. I love the ITC House, Chatterjee International and S.D.F. I love Dalhousie and Sector 5. I love Burrabazaar and Saltlake. I love park Circus and College Street. I love Esplanade, Chandni, Chang Wah and Tolly Club. I love BBD Bag and Ultadanga. I love EM Bypass and Khanna Haat. I love Tollywood and fish.
I love hope.
I love Kolkata
~dedicted to 14th February – the day to celebrate love.
P.S. The spellings of the places are not to be used in spell bee. They are intentionally used to keep the feel of the place intact and has been tried to bring close to the colloquial language.
I have drunk a lot
But I will not cry.
I am sad.
I don’t usually get sad (even if I get dunk).
At least when I get drunk.
So, lets say I have drunk more than avg.
I miss you. I really miss you,’
I don’t have you.
I don’t have to be you.
I want a girl who knows me as well as you.
As if I can share my life with me.
But I really miss you.
I will never call you.
But I will feel the void.
I want you back but not in a normal way.
You know you were who mattered in my life. That’s pathetic. Even if I had cared for you at any point of my life, just dream and be a stone.
It is funny that every time I write I try to create a controversy. Is it true or just an exaggeration? I wrote the above paragraph when I was high. Now back to the present.
It is a bit strange that after so many days you called and asked me a question which I expected (not prayed). I prayed that you will ask me, “Are you happy?”. But I know You. You will never answer my prayer. But You answered my expectations. I expected you to ask me something which I will never expect. Something which has nothing to do with me being a being who is trying to survive (and so is everyone). A question which is trivial enough to be asked when you are non-trivial to be answered. So you asked it. “Can you leave cigarette?”
And ironically I answered. I answered in a way which is comforting to me more than it is to you. You know, truth gives hope. I used to think that if I speak my heart to someone, then that person will give heart for me. Not anymore. Now I pretend. You have gifted me a permanent fear of trust. Thank You. Thank You for this lovely feeling of ‘being uncomfortable’ throughout life. If I feel uncomfortable that means I am still breathing. Miracle.
So I answered and answer didn’t give hope. Not to you neither to me. So I avoided the risk of hopes being shattered. Although I am very used to this ‘hopes shattered’ kind of thing from my childhood (may be the reason for my introvert-ness), I still avoid it.
And Keep laughing
And continue to make this world (not mine) a happy place to live in.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Read from a friend’s post on FB shared from Bible verse.
Christmas is here and new year is near. Shit that was long back. Holy fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. What a supercool way to start the first post of 2012, with the holy F word. Sorry loser readers I was a bit high on spirits. Now I am totally dry. BTW, Happy New Year. Well begun is Half done. Half….so clichéd….it is never full. Hope you all started the first half part well. I did not do bad either. Decided to buy Firefox Nitro and start cycling seriously/passionately/just-for-fun/on whim. Now to make it more whimsical, I have decided to write. And write about the most interesting thing on earth (unarguably). Me. Shit, clichéd again. So I decided after reading a post that I will rewrite an ad about myself in the exact way only my name added.
Hello, my name is Tanmoy and yes, I admit it, I pretty much just look at your pictures. Do you actually read these? =P
I came from a very small sperm. And, there was this ovum that came from my mom, but I’m pretty sure that I was mostly the sperm part. Later on in my life an ex-girlfriend would say, “100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?”
I’m a fun and honest guy and I have an awesome job in an IT biggie (aah…who am I kidding). In person I’m pretty shy when it comes to women…so that’s why I’m hiding behind this computer. And, my skin sparkles like diamonds in direct sunlight.
I’m pretty ambitious…I have tried learning French. I have tried to crack CAT. I have tried to lose weight. I have tried to be fairer. LOL.
Also, I am not a total fat ass. I try to exercise everyday for 30 minutes on my stationary bike. And, I usually eat fairly healthy.
Anyway, good luck to you, because I can have any woman I please. But, apparently so far, I haven’t pleased any of them.
Actually, I don’t want to put too much information on here, because I can only handle one woman at a time. =P
So, If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…
Come on, sugar, let me know.
You will fan me and feed me grapes…actually it’ll probably be the other way around. =) Maybe we could do something like go shopping so I can buy you a new car. Let me know.
But, if we do have a date, or something, then we’ll tell everyone we met when I dropped tea on your feet at tea junction.
Enough of me, now more of me.
I was watching Roadies 9 auditions and it struck me (actually they advertised) that a reality show with 9 seasons in India is not bad. See I am not a big fan of Roadies but I don’t hate it either. I actually love to watch the auditions. I really respect Roadies and Raghu Ram for creating a trend and a dream for the youth, and mind it, I am not going in their content and its quality. There are youths who have been trying to be a Roadie.
Many people think that being a Roadie is cool. I respect them for instilling this thinking in today’s youth. For making Roadie a phenomenon. It takes lot more than hype to make a successful reality show like that. It is like showing mirror to viewers and showing the joker face residing in everyone. Even my roommate went for the auditions (Yes he is from delhi).
CAT results are out. Pathetic. So don’t ask and shut the fuck up.
Watch two animated movies back to back. Coraline and Mary & Max. Superb movies. Dark. Not made for humour. Has a deep story and gripping storytelling and screenplay. Must Watch. Also watched Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya (original of Ek Deewana Tha). Nice movie.
Till then lemme R.I.P.