Yet another ‘love+relationship’ post

Don’t these bloggers ever get bored of the topic!!


See, I am not a relationship pro. No one can be. Being in a relationship and learning from it, is a journey, not a destination. But I am going to share a single funda of relationships based on my personal experience. Unlike my previous posts I will stop beating around the bushes (no pun intended :P) and jump on the subject (no pun intended either :D).

Honeymoon periods (I said no pun intended…dontcha gettit?) come with an expiry date and if you can still keep it fresh you have survived the hardest test of your relationship syllabus.

Phase I:

The mirage

Each and every relationship starts with a very thrilling and exciting phase. You find the other person very attractive. Time spent with him/her seems too short. Flattery is your buzzword (with a slight amount of teasing which brings out the naughtiness quotient) and you are in sheer amazement how yours and his/hers choices match exactly. You start believing that this is divine intervention in your life and he/she is ‘The One’. Each and every word, laugh, joke, movie, popcorn and random tangible objects seem so perfectly made for both of you. You act like a 6 months old kid who runs after the shiny object and tries to chew everything that can fit in the tiny mouth. Here you learn from each and every couple around and swear to God a million times, “We are surely never gonna do that”. Here the concept of nicknames is introduced (if you are really into it).

Phase II:

The Oasis

Now you decide that you need to grow up. And you try to grow up (but don’t realise that you are going to fail miserably anyway). Here your relationship becomes a bit romantic and mushy, which is good! You tease less and touch more (emotionally and physically). You start trusting and everything seems perfect. You are the ossumest couple and all other couples are not. If other couples fight, you laugh at them and if they don’t, you label them as ‘boring’. You like holding hands and squeezing them in public to show the extra bit of attention and care (like extra cheese on the top of a pizza). You like the smell of his/her hair/skin. Till now you have stopped looking/gawking at other random dude/chick (since you have found the water). If you have survived phase II then believe me you can be a very very good boyfriend/girlfriend. But remember you have still not graduated to become the ‘only one’ in life. Even if the other person tells you that you are a graduate now don’t ever ever believe him/her, because if you do believe then you will never graduate.

Phase III:

The Desert

Now this is an advance phase of relationship. Here you and your sonu/jaanu/sweetu/golu/or any random nickname you call him/her will be tested and tried to examine your potential to go through the hardships of the journey called ‘Life’. Here a small glimpse of reality is shown to you. In this phase you come to see a small preview of the real you and your partner, completely devoid of the coating of chivalry and ‘desperately-trying-to-impress-you’ part. You fight over petty issues. If you can handle petty issues you will be able to handle real ones later. You agree to disagree. Jealousy and possessiveness creep in, typically confined in this phase only. Because In phase I and II you were too young and busy to experience jealousy and possessiveness, and in later phase you will be too grown up. This is adolescent phase of relationship and is the most vulnerable. You think that you have ‘seen-it-all’ and question ‘is there something new?’

Sometimes it seems real boring but the sense of satisfaction that at least you have someone makes you stick (which can be quite dangerous sometimes). Since this phase is life turner, you will always emerge as a winner (even if you don’t pass the test).

If you pass phase III, congratulations you have graduated and have become member of an elite club called ‘committed’ (and boring).

If you have failed phase III, kudos to you, welcome to the elite club called ‘hurt and hungry’ or ‘single and sexy’ or whatever appeals.

Remember that Phase I, II and III are collectively called the ‘Honeymoon’ or ‘Delusional’ phase of a relationship. The real life begins after that and it gets tougher. But you have been trained to survive and if God (and you partner) wants, you will survive and emerge as a winner.

Note that the word ‘LOVE’ doesn’t even appear a single time in any of the phases because the real ‘LOVE’ starts after you graduate.

P.S. The symptoms in different phases may vary from couple to couple, orientation to orientation, but the basic classification of stages and their predicted results are more or less accurate. Isn’t it?



Filed under humor, phases, relationships, sinbycosmoy, society, women

7 responses to “Yet another ‘love+relationship’ post

  1. /Respect… I bow to u my friend ! U have explained it all in just one page and that too perfectly and 100% accurately while people keep wondering and trying to unfold the ‘mysteries’ (though there are none.. its all pretty much logical) of a successful pre-marital relationship rest aside a post marital one ! It was awesome and again ‘I BOW TO UR UNDERSTANDING’ ! 😉 Keep enlightening !

  2. i would like to add a 4th phase of it .. if u survived the 3rd phase u r still not the one .. but u got be her best frnd ever .. and she can never forget u that’s a truth ..
    the 4 th phase is the one in which u come out of the all the bindings ..:) u let her go free just as the quote “dont run after ur love make it free and if it comes back its all yours forever “and if not .. u come to join the elite club of experienced singles..:) where u have the experience of not committing the mistake again a live a life full of happening incident … here if u fail i must say u r just too weak grow up buddy … life doest end with one girl out of ur life .. but u make it such that .. she repents for not accepting u as her part of life.

    p.s- in this phase u doesn’t act like lovers but as soulmates….but also soulmates are also attacked by the vicious reality of her parents and family …and if u pass this phase u truly emerge as a graduate and now ur lovers name will not be ur password but ur spouse’s name.

  3. Anonymous

    Yupppp…this is interesting or rather a taste of reality in a short phrase..
    Appreciate the way you have explained the honeymoon period….and i say this blog is best of all the one which i read so far of urs…….:)

    • Thanx for the appreciation…but seriously ‘anonymous’…is it worth writing if the one who is encouraging is not visible? I mean i will always publish comments but where are the balls? I would love it if the credit of appreciation goes to a serious reader…:) Thanx for the encouragement anyway…stay in touch.

  4. liked your attempt at trying to demystify these “relationships”.
    They work well at a higher level. Though on a microscopic level, m sure a lot of different people experience a lot of different phases, not necessarily in the same order as mentioned. (also a mixture of all two or more phases at a single time).

    • I do agree with you….and demystifying them at granular level is not possible…i hv jst tried to potray my point of view (i toldya me is not an xpert)….btw….thanx for vsit…stay in touch

  5. “Sometimes it seems real boring but the sense of satisfaction that at least you have someone makes you stick ” — This, at one point of time, does make you wonder whether it is worthwhile to stick around at all. The complacency sets in and then we realise that the factors which brought us together is not in play anymore. You end up being two people just used to being in the company of each other, be it in peace or in war. :). Gosh, am turning into such a pessimist.

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