Wake up. Wake up.
Wake up and smell the ashes.
-Lines stolen from one of my favourite PC games Half-Life 2 and very apt according to my current situation. I have been sleeping for ages (at least it seems so). No enthusiasm in work, studies and relationships. Only as-if-I-care attitude. Suffering from lack of concentration and cannot even concentrate that I am lacking it. Lacking what?
The post break up period is bad and I am on rebound. Lately I have been thinking why we had a break up when we had an exemplary chemistry between us. Although the reason is simple I am still going to elaborate it a bit. Takes up my blogging space and it feels good. We have been in a long distance relationship for the last two years or so. I like to think that we are mature enough and share a strong bond but two years were too much for our maturity. Momentary glimpse were not enough for us when we were together 24×7 two years ago. Misunderstanding and miscommunications were unavoidable (and we claimed that we can understand each other well). At last, after a typical fight WE broke up.
Now this ‘post break up period’ has made me go into a cocoon. Life is bland. Abusing my ex on my blog has not really helped. Everything is a mess. Every morning I hate going to office. I am under-performing and over-drinking. Missing my CAT classes (and stopped going to my French classes) and exams regularly but the worst part is I seem happy. I am not at all worried about my future and have gone in an auto-pilot mode. I have completely stopped doing crazy and creative stuff (except blogging which is way far from my creative side). This virtual sleep has lot of side effect on my health, mind and soul but I am still sleeping. I have even stopped using hyperlink on posts.
I read somewhere : Women cannot concentrate on work if they are going through a hard time in relationship. Men cannot concentrate on relationship if they are going through a tough time at work.
I hope this is true then I will have my job, which sucks by the way, to blame for the inevitable. Now since my work is getting worse day-by-day there is no chance of me getting into a new relationship. Aaaah, that really sucks. Wish me luck so that when I wake up after this deep slumber I wake up as a different better man. And a happier one.