I believe in Karma. I believe in the cycle of cause and effect. I am a timid fellow. I get scared when I think of doing something wrong or hurt somebody. I think my bad deeds will revert back to me in one way or the other.
I also believe that doing good, feeling humble, and never hurting enyone will always result in good for me. People and circumstances will favour me. People will also behave good with me as I do to them. But that doesn’t happen necessarily all the time. On the contrary, I encounter selfish and self-centered people every day. There is no harm in being selfish but at the cost of other’s feelings will really suffocate me. The scenario always tells me to stop expecting good in return of your good behaviour. It is like asking a bull not to attack just because you are a vegetarian.
But all these sermons and advices given by my head is never paid heed by my heart. It continues to feel and do and behave good. It also continues to expect good in return and feels disheartened when disappointed.
There are some environment or society where being humble and respecting others is an integral part. When I find such a warm vicinity I melt and mix in it. Whether you are good or bad you will be forced to become a better person. But when I face a situation full of hostility, backstabbing and bitching I start feeling uneasy. Although I can sense every bit of it, but neither can I show that I know nor can I do something about it. May be it is because of my timid nature or this time also I try to be good.
These people and situations make me feel that ‘Karma’ is a lie because it never affects a person with negative vibes. If that would have been the case the scams and rapes would have never been invented. Sometimes I feel there is no advantage of being good. You have to be smart. Does that mean smart is no good. It is just for just. It is bad for bad and good for good. I am not smart.
I told you previously that my heart is stubborn. I continue to believe in karma and try not to hurt anyone.